Being a Boss

In some manner or another, I've served in roles frequently referred to as "boss" for over 20 years. In a few cases, I owned the company, in whole or in part. In many more instances, I held some rank that granted me authority over the work-lives of others. I've learned a great deal over the years. And I am definitely still learning.

If you'll indulge me, I'd like to share what little I have learned about being a boss.

The first lesson - Don't be a boss.

Be a mentor, a guide, a confidant, a facilitator, a shield, and a coach. But don't be a boss.

Nobody likes a boss.

boss ¹  (bôs, bs)

n.

One who makes decisions or exercises authority.

v.tr.

To give orders to, especially in an arrogant or domineering manner.

v.intr.

To be or act as a supervisor or controlling element.

boss ²  (bôs, bs)

n.

A cow.

On second thought, some people do like cows.

Management by Magazine

I think there is great value in reading books on business management. That is, there is great value in reading them with intent, considering their points, thinking through the details, doing some research, assimilating, and drawing your own conclusions.

But there is another approach I see taken far too often.

Management by Magazine

Managers and leaders who flit from groundbreaking idea to company saving idea based on whatever book or article they most recently skimmed. For years, I did not have a name for this particular behavior pattern, but then Jon Kern helped me out. He calls it, "Management by Magazine" and now, so do I.

The impact of Management by Magazine

At first look, this behavior can seem relatively harmless. Those who report to these individuals quickly learn to recognize the behavior pattern and develop coping mechanisms. Often, they respond superficially to the new direction. They echo the new mantras and engage in whatever new activities are necessary, but ultimately they do not change their core behaviors. Behind the scenes, it's business as usual. Everybody knows that this will pass. In another month, there will be not another mention of Cross-Functional Self-Directed L-Teams as we dive head-first into Spontaneous Collaborative Innovation, just as we did Maturity Value Proposals, Orange Desert Tactics, and Strategic Value Structuring in prior rounds.

Albeit unfortunate, does this really have an impact on an organization?

Yes.

Impedes Learning

"Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other." - John Fitzgerald Kennedy

These collective behavior patterns lead to a reinforcement of the manager's false notion that they are performing as an excellent leader. With little or no feedback, the manager fails to see flitting from idea to idea as a result of a misapplied shallow understanding. Instead they believe they've mastered each of these practices and deemed them inapplicable to their unique business needs.

"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin

The Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which unskilled individuals suffer from illusory superiority. This false confidence closes us off to true learning. The ineffective application of the available explicit knowledge results in a lack of tacit knowledge and not only is the leader's learning limited, but the organization as a whole is adversely impacted.

Erodes Confidence

After a few darts from one approach to another, employees begin to wonder if the leader has a plan. As some employees deeply study the theory-du-jour, they begin to see the gaps in what the leader says and their own understanding of the theory. These individuals lose confidence in their leader's competence. Inevitably, water cooler conversation confirms they are not alone in their doubts. Discussions about a lack of direction and the leader's shallow or even incorrect understanding of the theories ensues. Skepticism sweeps the organization.

Learn and Adapt

As I stated in the beginning, I think there is great value in reading books on business management. That is, there is great value in reading them with intent, considering their points, thinking through the details, doing some research, assimilating, and drawing your own conclusions.

When you're exposed to a new technique, concept, or philosophy, take a little time. Read more than one source. Think deeply about the ideas and lessons. Seek counter-perspectives. Don't use the new tools to attack your most significant challenges. Start small, develop tacit knowledge, and grow your application as you grow your understanding. Don't be afraid to adapt the tools to meet your specific needs.

And if you choose to rapidly test multiple approaches, be open and honest about what you're doing; with your people and with yourself.

One on One Meetings

About 15 years ago, I started a simple practice with my fellow co-workers and employees. Every so often, we'd meet to discuss stuff and things. Nothing too formal, just a touch-point to make sure we were staying connected. I called the sessions "touch-point meetings". Over time, I made adjustments to the format of the meeting as various structures proved more or less valuable.

At some point, I came to know these touch-points by another name. People were calling them "one on one" meetings. I discovered they were a common practice for many managers. Shortly thereafter, I came to learn that aside from the name "one on one" these meetings had little in common with one another from company to company, department to department, and manager to manager.

One on One is about them, not you

As a manager, you've plenty of opportunity to provide employees feedback, direction, and information. The one on one session, above all else, should be a format for employees to speak to you. This is about their needs, their concerns, and their personal growth. Your job is to ask productive open-ended questions, to listen, and to follow-up constructively.

It may take several sessions before an employee opens up to you. Allow them to move at their own pace.

This is not a status report

Don't ask for updates on projects. Gently redirect the employee away from project status updates. These should be happening in another venue. An employee unfamiliar with a healthy 1:1 may tend to interpret these as a check-in on personal performance.

Make One on Ones a top priority

Schedule these sessions as a regular event. I suggest you pre-schedule them in six month blocks. This sends the message you intend to do these regularly and ensures the time is blocked off on your schedules. Do your absolute best to keep these commitments. It is easy to allow crucial deadlines and other seemingly more urgent priorities to get in the way of One on One sessions. But ultimately nothing is more important than ensuring your employee's growth. If you must move a One on One, try to keep it on the same day. Use video conferencing to keep the commitments when you are away.

Meeting Format

The following is a suggested format, not a prescription. Find what works for you. This format has worked well for me for a number of years.

As you start having 1:1 sessions with your employees, you may need an hour or more per session. Once a cadence is established, you may be able to reduce the meeting length to as little as 30 minutes. Anything less than 30 minutes is too short. This is not about maximizing efficiency. The following format is for a 30 minute meeting. If your meetings are more than 30 minutes in length, the Primary discussion should consume the bulk fo your time. For a 60 minute meeting, the open and close should still be approximately 5 minutes in length, the Primary discussion should be 40 minutes, and the manager input approximately 10 minutes. Don't keep a tight clock on these sections, but be keenly aware of the amount of time you spend talking.

• Open
• 5 minutes
• Review action items from prior 1:1
• Are we doing what we agreed to?
• Are we getting results?
• Primary discussion
• 15 minutes
• Your topic of choice
• Updates / Feedback
• Requests for support
• Action planning
• Manager input
• 5 minutes
• Manager items to share
• Updates / Feedback
• Requests for support
• Action planning
• Close
• 5 minutes
• Review new action items
• What are we planning to do?
• How will we measure outcomes?
• Close meeting

Set Expectations

Many employees will not have experienced 1:1 sessions in their professional careers. For those who have, many still will not be familiar with a format that places their needs at the center of the event. Let employees know how the session will be run, what they can expect, and what you expect of them.

Ask employees to prepare for the meeting. Let them know they will have time to discuss whatever they wish and you will respect their use of the time. Ask them to consider using the time as an opportunity to concentrate on their goals, their plans, their growth, and their professional needs.

Help by Asking Open-Ended Questions

If an employee isn't sure what to talk about or the discussion is waning, you can ask open-ended questions to help encourage further discussion. I tend to have one or two questions prepared prior to the session. I typically spend 10 minutes prior to the sessions to think through observations from the prior week, note any updates I think they'd be interested in, and consider questions that might draw out latent issues or concerns.

Potential Questions

• How are you doing?
• Are you working on something interesting?
• Do you like what you're doing?
• How are you getting along with your team mates?
• What is one or two things that would make your life better here?
• How can I better serve you?
• As your manager, what could I be doing better?
• If we could address one issue on your work-life right now, what would you want it to be?
• What would you say is the best part of working here?
• What is one thing you'd like to see improved on your team?
• What is one thing you'd like to see improved in your department?
• What is one thing you'd like to see improved at your company?
• Tell me about some of the challenges you’ve faced this week.
• Is there anything I can do to help with your work?
• What are you most concerned about?
• What’s the biggest opportunity we’re missing out on?
• What are we not doing that we should be doing?
• Are you happy working here?
• What suggestions do you have?
• What have you learned this past week?

Follow-Up

The One on One session will grow meaningless if issues are shared, but no resolve is realized. At the end of each session, make sure you perform the close; agree to your next action items. After each session, take a few minutes to write up a summary and email it to the employee, including your agreed action items.

And then take action on the items. As you start the next session, you should have at least an update, if not a resolve on each of your action items. This consistent show of commitment builds trust and ensures growth for the employee.

Don't Bring Me Problems

Want to really set yourself apart as a leader? Try telling your employees, "Don't bring me problems, bring me solutions." This phrase will absolutely set you apart as a leader; apart from your people, apart from communication, apart from real issues, and apart from collaborative solutions.

Don't bring me problems. Bring me solutions.

I can imagine only one reason a leader would say something like this - there are too many people brining them problems.

But why would this be?

I doubt that the company is wrought with people incapable of handling issues incumbent with their roles. I am skeptical that the organization is in such an anomalous position that few can fathom a resolve. I suspect the institution has a reasonable share of intelligent and competent individuals who've likely served in similar, if not more challenging roles at prior times in their career.

So why then, would they bring the boss so many problems? Why would said boss be compelled to mandate, "None shall deliver unto me problems without providing proper suggestion for resolution thereof"?

Such a boss might consider looking to themselves as the source of their very angst.

Who receives too many problems?

What other than a boss who takes power rather than shares it, would render competent, experienced, and intelligent people inept?

It is the boss who bellows, "Do you want me to come down there and do it for you?"
It is the boss who assigns multiple people the same task and later selects a winner.
It is the boss who requests fresh ideas but then proceeds with their own idea.
It is the boss who asks a team to make a decision and then overrules it.

The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership. - Colin Powell

You really want less problems?

The leader who entrusts hears little of problems or, for that matter, solutions. To this leader, results are delivered. And should this leader be delivered a problem, they know it is a serious thing indeed. Serious enough to put their best people on it and get out of the way.

Coaching Anti-Patterns : Drive-By Coaching

As an "agile coach" over the past several years, I've seen a lot of different techniques and approaches. I've been impressed with the ability of some coaches to slowly and gently affect change; sustainable, genuine change. And I've been dismayed at the number of coaches who trivialize the complexity of change to check-lists and notions read from books, but never tried.

This series covers some of the (anti-)patterns I've seen among check-list agile coaches.

Drive-By Coaching

As a coach, you've been working with a team for months. You know their day-to-day situation. You've helped them through simple changes and have encouraged them to experiment and learn what actually works for them. Their kanban board has 15 lanes in it, their daily stand-up includes sharing the best food they ate in the past 24 hours, and they change pairs every iteration. There is plenty of room for improvement, but they are doing better than they were 3 months ago and they are learning to learn. Together.

One day, another "coach" is visiting. Maybe it's a big name coach who's written several books. Maybe it's somebody within the company who is on another team that's practicing agile. Maybe, it's your boss. Wherever they came from, however they came to be here, doesn't much matter. They glance around the room, taking in the kanban board. They attend the morning stand up. They then pull the team manager aside and with the absolute best intentions, share their observations and some recommendations.

"Your kanban board has too much detail to it. A good board has three lanes; waiting, working, and done. And your stand-up is all wrong. There are three questions to answer in stand-up; what did you do, what will you do, and what is blocking you. I suggest you make these changes."

So What's the problem?

I mean the coach is clearly right... right? Kanban boards shouldn't have 15 lanes. There are no examples in any book that show that many lanes. And everybody knows how to do a good stand-up.

The problem is that the kanban board had 15 lanes because we were studying flow across every stage in the formal SDLC of the organization, trying to gather data on the most significant problem areas. And the stand-up included food because the team voted to share something personal each day, but they didn't want to get into awkward territory. They wanted to get to know one another better and find something common they could all share.

The visiting coach doesn't have this context. The visiting coach doesn't know why things are "wrong", only knows they are clearly wrong. And most importantly, the visiting coach doesn't have to live with the impact of their advice.

For how often I hear coaches make snide comments about companies that cargo-cult practices, I hear coaches dispense generic, context-free advice; building the very cargo-cults they will later look down their noses at.

The worst of all is the boss who rather than checking with her coaches and ensuring consistent messaging, arrives at random intervals on client site, and dispenses pearls of wisdom. Each time she does this, she leaves her coaches to gingerly manage the discrepancy between what the team is doing and the off-handed, generic, context-free advice given by the boss, who is clearly more experienced or wouldn't be the boss.

Think twice before you dispense "best practice" guidance. Ask a few questions first. Understand why they're doing the things they're doing. And resist the urge to show how much you know about agile when you know so little about their situation. If you don't intend to stick around to see the entire process through, day in and day out, perhaps it's best to defer specific tactical advice and instead encourage them to cultivate an environment of experimentation and learning.